[Raychel's Blog]
just herea poem
2007-05-31
A POEM BY EMILY DICKINSON
CRUMBLING IS NOT AN INSTANT'S ACT
A FUNDAMENTAL PAUSE
DILAPIDATION'S PROCESSES
ARE ORGANIZED DECAYS
TIS FIRST A COBWEB ON THE SOUL
A CUTICLE OF DUST
A BORER IN THE AAXIS
AN ELEMENTAL RUST
RUIN IS FORMAL-DEVIL'S WORK
CONSECUTIVE AND SLOW
FAIL IN AN INSTANT NO MAN DID
SLIPPING - IS CRASH'S LAW
kewl site check it out
2007-05-21
all about urban legends
http://snopes.com/info/top25uls.asp
do ppl take depression lightly???
2007-05-19
I had someone say the most idiotic statement to me today..
to share some about this topic.... my openness in suffering from depression. It was just one of many I've heard over the years. I won't name names or repeat the statement to protect the uninformed, but instead I decided to make this post hoping that maybe some minds will open and possibly I could help to clarify some misunderstandings.
Depression 1st and foremost is a medical condition, it's no different then someone having a heart defect, asthma, or even diabetes.
2nd Depression comes in many forms and levels of severity.
3rd Depression does not make someone unstable or crazy.
Depression is simply caused by a lack of certain chemicals in ones brain that are needed to produce feelings of contentment and happiness. This lack of chemicals can be caused by life events such as a death of a loved one or in my case, by my brain's inability to regulate their natural production.
For me personally, depression is/works a lot like a light switch, it just switches on or off, basically my brain just stops and then some time later on, starts again producing chemicals.
The best way I can describe my depression is to have you think of someone in your life, very close to you that has passed away, now think about how much pain you went through and how you eventually where able to grieve through the loss and come out the other side. Depression for me is like having someone flip a switch and all that pain (the same you felt dealing with your loved ones death) hit me all at once. The hardest part is that unlike your dealing with the death, I have no death or any other event to grieve through, I'm unable to ever get through to the other side.
For the most part I can feel in coming on, little hints start pooping up in my mood and personality prier (some times just minuets and sometimes weeks before) I watch for these signs and so do those that are close to me, they can be the only warning we/I get before the tsunami hits.
Suicide is a side effect of depression (meaning it's caused by it), when the pain is so great (and again remember there is no cause to grieve through) it's just there and it's killing you.
Think of it this way; you have just gone without water for days and your trapped in a hot inhospitable desert. Now imagine someone offers you a glass of ice-cold crystal clear water, all you can drink. Would you want it, wouldn't you do almost anything to get it? That's as close to being able to explain it as I can get. It's like every cell in your being is screaming for that glass of water (to end life). It's a very hard desire to fight and one so far, I have been very lucky in battling.
I have come very close several times (just stopping before the act) and once on Dec 05 1998 went through with it. That night I took 60 Tylenol PMs and 30 Benadryl. I woke up the next day in ICU with 4 IVs and a feeding tube in me. It took 4 days before I had the strength to lift my head up off the pillow.
I now know suicide is never the answer, I was totally blown away by how many people I hurt in making the attempt. But I do feel it's important to explain why I chose to attempt it and still fight the desire nearly every day. It's kind of like being an alcoholic, every day you fight temptation trying to stay sober, of in my case to stay alive.
So again;
Depression is a lot like Diabetes; both are caused by the body's inability to regulate its needed chemicals.
Depression is not like Diabetes because people except diabetes as a medical condition and aren't afraid of it or the people dealing with it. They simple understand it's a condition that the person is living with, is taking medication for, and that it doesn't keep the person from being able to live a close to normal life.
So to my person today with the idiotic statement, Depression is my cross to bear in this life, and people like you are the stones I have to carry my cross over and through. It's a burden I have excepted (hence the fact I'm still alive). I just pray for you that my burden never becomes yours and that your eyes and heart will open someday, seeing people for the soul that lies within them and not just for the defects they suffer from.
please sign this petition
2007-05-14
Its Pitbulls today ..then what breed will be next?
Petition against Pit bull ban and Breed Specific laws in Massachusetts
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/199597800?ltl=1179206004
apology
2007-05-14
I want to aplogize for my last blog.
I know there are tons of really good people here and I hope I didn't offend anyone. I wasjust venting ...and it seems my anger got the best of me!
And now all that negativity is out of me.. and I do feel better..
So I just wanted to say thank you to my friends here.. and let you know I appreciate all of you!!
not true friends here
2007-05-10
2 faced people
Its been brought to my attention that someone I once considered a friend has driven a knife deep into my back, this time there's no forgiveness. Karma will once again get my revenge for me. I do not have hatred running through my viens, only pity and sadness. It is a pity that someone can be so unhappy in their own life, that they need to start trouble in other peoples lives.
-People who gossip give themselves away. They tell how they truly feel about someone, but tell everyone BUT them.
2-People who gossip don't want to know the truth. If they did they would ask the one involved.
3-People who gossip believe lies, WANT to believe lies, and persuade others to believe lies.
4-Gossip is censorship and gross injustice. The one involved has no right to defend him/herself. Gossip is a Kangaroo Court.
5-People who gossip deceive themselves. They deny it is gossip by calling it by something else to justify it.
6-Gossip is conspiracy. "A plot by two or more people against..."
7-Gossip doesn't want to know "The rest of the story."
8-Because of judgmental attitudes, the one who gossips will avoid and alienate the subject of the gossip, believing lies. Usually, how much they gossip is proportional to how much they avoid them.
9-The one hearing the lie, then finding out the truth later on - will continue to cling to the original story, and will wind up still avoiding the one involved, since it's too humiliating to admit they were wrong. Subsequently, the subject of the gossip is the one who suffers alienation.
the kewlest new site
2007-05-10
The Encyclopedia of Life (EOL) is a collaborative global project designed to catalog the complete proteome of every living species in a flexible reference ...http://www.ngbw.org/eol/index.html
Legendary pioneer of jazz..dies
2007-05-07
Veteran clarinetist Alvin Batiste passed away in his sleep early Sunday morning.
Mr. Batiste was born in New Orleans in 1932. He was first introduced to the clarinet by his father, who played traditional jazz. Mr. Batiste's modern approach to the instrument was formed in part by listening to Charlie Parker albums.
He composed orchestral works and three operas, as well as the textbook "The Root Progression System." He toured with or wrote songs for Ray Charles, Billy Cobham and Cannonball Adderley, among many others
he will be greatly missed.
why blog
2007-05-05
I used to blog a lot more than I do now. I was unemployed and had a lot of free time. Now that I have a job and a house and other committments, I had to ask myself why should I continue blogging? Is it worth the time it takes? The answer I came up with was a resounding YES.
Why do I blog? When I first started blogging, I thought it would be great practice for "the real thing" (in other words: publishing). My husband had bugged me for a while about starting a blog; I guess since I'm so opinionated, he thought it would be a good medium for me. Maybe he just thought I'd stop bugging him about all of it ..
Since then, my reasons for blogging have changed a bit. When I realized that people were actually reading what I wrote, and that they found it helpful, I made a conscious attempt to make my blogging more useful. What have I learned and experienced that other people might find useful? What software could I try out that people would find helpful to learn about? It's a great feeling to know that people have gotten something out of my blog. And now I don't see it as preparation for the real thing ..
So the question isn't really why would I want to blog - it's why wouldn't I blog?
back from vacation
2007-05-02
some things about our Miami vacation.
I got a great tan! Well at least the start of a base.. takes me the whole summer to acheive something substantial.
I got lots of rest & relaxation and I didn't touch a computer for 8 days.
We visited the tattoo shop from the show "Miami Ink" Everyone in there were just nice as pie!!
My digital camera got ruined at the beach and it's a piece of junk now.
Now I'm shopping for a new one any suggestions out there.???
We stayed on the beach from morning to night. The weather was perfect
The best thing about our beach vacation was that I got to take a much needed respite from the real world,
and most of all the great memories we brought home with us.....I LOVE TIME with my family.
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